"It was all we hoped it would be! We were supported by local Friends and the AM registering officers through the whole process, both spiritually and practically. Non-Quakers who attended said it was a lovely experience for them too. We wanted it to be simple and sincere, and it was." - Karen & Paul Hughes, IOW
Quaker weddings take the same simple, quiet form as our usual meetings for worship. For Quakers the quality of the relationship is the crucial factor, and we celebrate with equal joy the marriages of same-sex and opposite-sex couples. The couple becomes a partnership in a lifelong commitment to faithfulness and love. Each makes the same promise.
Members of the local meeting attend along with those who have been specially invited for the wedding. Everyone is asked to support the couple, silently or in spoken ministry. Early in the meeting, the couple hold each other's hands and make a solemn declaration of marriage. After this exchange the Quaker marriage certificate is signed by the couple and two or more witnesses.
The meeting continues as it began with a period of silence, during which anyone may speak. This can be a time when the couple is given inspiration and help that will be a source of strength to them during their married life. It is also an opportunity for everyone there to ask God's blessing on the marriage and commit themselves to supporting the couple however they can.
The meeting closes after the elders have shaken hands. As soon as the meeting has ended, everyone is invited to sign the Quaker marriage certificate.
"For we marry none ... we are but witnesses" (George Fox)
A key aspect of a Quaker wedding, is that there is no priest marrying the two people together. The couple are making their marriage vows directly to each other, witnessed by everyone there with them in the Meeting House and by God, or however the couple best understand their sense of Divine Presence.
The couple do not need to be members in order to choose a Quaker marriage, but it is essential that they feel a connection with the Meeting, and that their beliefs are in alignment with Quaker values and practices. If this is something you are considering, as a first step please contact Graham Dragon, our Registering Officer. You can read more about Quaker marriage procedure in chapter 16 of Quaker Faith & Practice.